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demon daze

by sports.

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1.
This past year's burned a hole in my head I can't keep my eyes open at second thought I couldn't care to listen To any word anyone else said I've been a lost cause since I can remember Drowning It feels like I'm drowning Why can't I just be dead For now, I guess I could remain at rest; turn my senses off for months on end. I'll never step a foot or an inch outside of my bedroom ever again I can't believe I'm even alive, let alone well enough to lift my legs I'll dim my lights shut the door to my life and crawl into the safety of my bed. The light is so bright slipping through the cracks Between the black out curtains and my shades I never strive to change my life I can't even convince myself to behave In situations of extreme importance Can I even spell my name? Drowning, why can't I be drowning?
2.
Matt Damon 01:00
Home again I Came and went You ever wondered why I left? I didn't think that you’d go first I can't say that's not true Nothing left to do Absence equals distance What was I thinking Felt regret I'll never let This memory out of my grasp like all the other ones I've never been so lost Has it always been this dark
3.
This dimly lit confinement that I call my own apartment has set me in a web of self pity and decay I seem to find myself just lying awake in bed until 2 PM on Saturdays just wasting myself away I'll never leave Tell me that I'm different. I know it doesn't make a difference that my differences differ, it's all the same anyways. 'Cause I try (yeah I try) and I'll try (yeah sure,"try") but in the end I'm still alone and just totally lame At least I tell myself that anyways I'm hard on myself and I can't seem to stray from the idea that I'm worthless and have nothing else to give I haven't slept a wink in what feels like days but I know I've only been awake since noon today And it's 4 PM God damn it Since you left I haven't felt the same. The reason why I live, 3000 miles away It's just hard to sit around all day and not be reminded of all the things you'd say To make me laugh, to make my fears go away A condition that's position eats away at me everyday I just wish there could be another way for you to come home, back to me, back to the old days These days that I just lay awake have taught me what you really mean I should be more independent but I find it hard to determine if it's even worth living my own days
4.
I Am the Boy 03:27
I'd like to talk about a few things Like how the last year has affected me It may seem like it's nothing, but it's been burning a hole, can’t you see? So if you could just wait I promise I’ll make it better. Hold me, I'm a wreck, I neglect and I'm dysfunctional To everyone around me and you're everyone around Me, I digress, I can't let you walk away, I swear I'll change If you let me. so, will you let me? So could you pull me up, because I feel like I hit the deep end But I'm "okay", if that's what you want me to tell you I know, I'm sorry I let this go to waste, I fucking ruin everything I know, I'm sorry But I'm sorry doesn't mean anything 'Cause I'd love it if you fucking let me
5.
Ridge Road 03:15
I'm a mountain that can't be moved That's a lie And I'm a ship that cannot sink In your eyes But truth be told I am the darkest hole of life An ache and a moan on a desolate bone are you satisfied Are you satisfied? ‘Cause I've never felt at place And I could never follow your ways I try and I try to be perfect in your... in your eyes But no matter what I do I'll never be as good As you Well I think I'm giving up I'm over being your crutch This is not the end my friend But I don't know if I have hope to pull me from this hole As these summer nights come to an end I'll slowly lose my head That the boat that once kept me afloat is shattered As I start to choke I'm a mountain that can't be moved I'm a ship that cannot sink In your eyes
6.
Spooky Damon 00:52
I'm shocked but not surprised that I'm living alone again Held up in my cold bedroom I'll never speak till then Living too close to someone who I might become Feeling awfully anxious about everything I think about. I'm shocked but not surprised that I'm living alone again Everyday I come home I'm Lying in an unmade bed
7.
I'm waiting for anyone I know to call me. I'm blissfully sinking. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for you to call "Yeah I'll call, I'll call" "Yeah?" "I swear to god I'll call." I'm sorry. I'm always sorry. I don't know why I let my mind lie to me I've always wanted to be at home in someone else's arms I don't know why I let my mind lie to me I'm waiting for you to call me I'm waiting I'm waiting for you to call Yeah I'll call, I'll call. Yeah, I swear to god I'll call
8.
So I guess this is our goodbye Packed my bags, dig out my eyes. like all those other times I promised that would never happen to me Let alone us Yeah I packed my bags, could you hit the lights? I'll never forgive myself for tonight I'm terrified of growing up And it drove you away So I drove you home It can never be the same You made me feel alive
9.
I can't fucking think And these bookshelves of stress fill my apartment I don't get why no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get anything right And I don't know what you could see In a waste of a man like me I'll just close my eyes and hope I don't make it till sunrise I've given up on giving up My life has fallen apart, and nobody gives a fuck I hide away almost everyday I'm afraid of everything, I don't deserve anything But I still try To craft these lies that I'm doing okay Are you listening? Because I haven't heard a thing At least that's what I keep telling myself And I don't get what you could see In a waste of a man like me I'll just close my eyes and hope I don't make it till sunrise Because it's been so long since I've felt That I belonged Just lay it to rest, a lost cause I'll close my eyes until the sounds fade
10.
The walk from my apartment to train tracks has never seemed. So fucking long and so fucking cold just bring me to peace My life is nothing more than constant cries of disappointments I’ve leveraged all my time in hobbies that aren’t valued and unimportant But still I come I fear myself and I realized that I'm stuck in the same place I’m a manic depressive who spends all his time in a basement in Brookline I say I try but what that really means I complain constantly about growing older and dying in my sleep I’ve given up on almost everything that I’ve come in contact with recently All that I have going for me is playing games made for kids in their teens I'll never be anything more than nothing “I’ll draw a card and pass my turn looks like I’m all tapped out I’ll throw a bolt into your face” that’s all I think about nothing ever seems to change whether I want it I always stay the same I keep thinking that something I’ll do will pull me from this home that keeps pulling me in. you’re pulling me in

about

credits

released August 25, 2015

Recorded March 16th through 20th, 2015 with Mike Moschetto at The Office in North Andover, MA

Mixed and Mastered by Mike Moschetto

Artwork by Steven Pribramsky Jr.

All music and lyrics written and performed by sports.

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sports. Boston, Massachusetts

3 piece from Boston, MA

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realsportsboys@gmail.com

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